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Dr. Bianca Scholten, a partner at consultancy Ordina Technical Automation, the Netherlands, says it’s a personal struggle for women to make sure their accomplishments are acknowledged. “Culturally men are allowed to say they are good at their jobs. They can be overtly proud of themselves. When a woman says she is good at something, she is seen as arrogant, especially by other women.”
Weiss adds, “I think appropriate self-promotion is something women are less inclined to do.”
Lockhart agrees that “it can take people aback” if a woman is forceful. “It’s a balance between being professional and assertive. My approach has always been to sit, listen, think, and absorb rather than just jumping in. If someone doesn’t hear what I’m saying, I’ll repeat. I want to make sure everyone has time to say something, but I make sure I do too. It’s a more consultative style, but having said that, we’re not always working in a democracy. ”
The Elephant in the Room
Sandra Vann, a technology specialist at Dow Chemical, Midland, Mich., says, “In manufacturing, a woman has to demonstrate she’s competent. A guy is assumed to be competent until he makes a mistake.”
This is what Schweitzer calls “the unspoken prejudice of ‘can a woman possibly be qualified?’ ” That is an issue women face “every minute of our professional lives, ” she says.
Janice Abel, director of marketing for pharmaceuticals and biotechnology at Invensys Foxboro, Foxboro, Mass., says when she came on board at what was then the Foxboro Company, the first question colleagues would ask was what degree she held, something that rarely happened to her male counterparts. “I had to prove my credentials in a way that the guys didn’t,” she says.
Women may also carry the added burden of feeling responsible for their younger counterparts. “It’s the idea that if I make a mistake, it’s not just me. It reflects on the other women behind me,” says Schweitzer, adding that this lack of confidence may be a function of experience as well as gender. “The younger you are and the newer you are in your workplace, the higher the risk. After building a solid reputation over time, both I and my colleagues view an occasional mistake as a learning opportunity. Now I can say, ‘Well, I got that wrong. Let’s fix it and move on.’ ”
Not One of the Guys
One of the biggest frustrations for women engineers is their inadvertent exclusion from the community. “There’s this thing that happens when you walk into a room,” says Schweitzer. “The conversation may suddenly stop.”
Sometimes, she adds, it’s a matter of the men attempting to be courteous. “They’ll say, ‘You weren’t supposed to hear that,’ meaning they were telling a story they think might be inappropriate for me to hear. When that happens, I thank them. I try to positively reinforce that awareness.”
But Invensys’ Abel says that when men suddenly stop talking she enters the room, questions arise. “Was it a dirty joke? Just some guy thing? Something they don’t want me to know? What? Are these guys my peers or not?”
Sometimes bridging this gap is as simple as sharing a sandwich, Vann says. “You can get a lot by going to lunch. It shouldn’t be the boys and girls going separately. There should be that interaction on a personal level, which makes it easier to work together.”
Which brings us to the complicated issue of “The Line,” the business of maintaining that delicate balance between being friendly and inviting inappropriate behavior, between wanting to be “just one of the guys” and sending the wrong messages.
The solution, say these women, is simple, if not always easy—be professional; be yourself; dress professionally; act professionally—and make the line a very hard one.
“I was extremely professional and extremely knowledgeable about my job,” says Bauer. “I was always focused on work, and never talked about my personal life at work or with customers. At one job I had, they never even knew I was married. My whole goal has been for my being a woman not to be a factor. I don’t want them to think of ‘that girl in marketing.’ I want it to be my performance they remember.”
Diana Bouchard, formerly of the Pulp and Paper Research Institute of Canada (Paprican) and now a freelance technical editor.
It’s Not So Bad
In spite of such challenges, these women all say their experience working with men has been largely positive. With some spectacular exceptions—one admitted to being groped in an elevator and another got nasty emails when she became pregnant—their male colleagues have been supportive.
Diana Bouchard, formerly of the Pulp and Paper Research Institute of Canada (Paprican) and now a freelance technical editor, says, “I encountered very little overt or intentional discrimination over my career. More of it is unintentional and unconscious—habits of the mind that slot women and other people into categories and make assumptions about them.”
Sheri Worthington, president of Telesian Technology, a high-tech service provider, says, “I’ve been blessed with a great crew of male associates over the years. They treated me fairly. If I did a good job, they let me know. If I mucked up, they let me know!”