7. You're still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "PacMan."
8. Everyone you talk to on the Skype sounds like Forrest Gump.
9. You receive emails with stamps on them.
10. When you click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out.
We'd add here that if your computer is displaying two or more of these symptoms, it's time either talk to your Internet service provider or the folks who can authorize the check for a new computer. You ought to be able to see the picture of the Heisman winner from at least 1995. Seriously.
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