Out of Control--Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is a Little Slow

Here's a bit of help from our IT department. No, actually it comes from our resident wag, Joe Kaulfersch at Pepperl + Fuchs.

Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is a Little Slow

1. Text on web pages display as Morse Code.
 
2. Graphics arrive via FedEx.
 
3. You believe a heavier string might improve your connection.
 
4. You post a message to your favorite Facebook group and it displays a week later.
 
5. Your credit card expires while ordering from Amazon.
 
6. ESPN website exhibits "Heisman Trophy Winner"...for 1989.
 
7. You're still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "PacMan."
 
8. Everyone you talk to on the Skype sounds like Forrest Gump.
 
9. You receive emails with stamps on them.
 
10. When you click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out.

We'd add here that if your computer is displaying two or more of these symptoms, it's time either talk to your Internet service provider or the folks who can authorize the check for a new computer. You ought to be able to see the picture of the Heisman winner from at least 1995. Seriously.